I have come to realize that I have bigger problems then I let anyone know. I have a mood disorder, it affects me a lot. I can never plan things because I never know how I am feeling. My body is reacting to me finally admitting things I should have been able to feel.
I want that ten year old girl who was so full of love and strong spirit to come back. If you knew what it looked like in my body no one would want to be my friend. I am insecure and hate myself, I need to be confident in myself.
My counselor gave me this great analogy. Say there is a 350 pd person and they lost 200 pds you ask them how they did it. But when someone else is heavy and looses weight but gains it back and then keeps gaining weight. Which one would you to for advice? I want to be able help people that have gone through anything. But first I have to get my brain to change. I get over the small hills but when the big hills I just cant get over them. I am going to do this I have no choice. My kids and my husband deserve to have a mom that is whole in the brain.
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